I gave you guys a peek a couple days ago at fantasia – or what was described as more than charlie’s chocolate factory – and kept it cursory on purpose.
I didn’t want to spoil it for you if you were going – or create too much pre-judgment – but I think enough time has passed, to tell you the truth: it totally wasn’t worth it.
this photo looks almost accusatory.
we went hungry, totally anticipating some kind of smorgasbord of chocolate and sweets – and let me tell you, I was doing complicated mathematics trying to figure out how big my trousers would have to be the next day.
but when we arrived, it was to
CLOWNS OMG entertainers doing strange mime-type actions – though the guy at the welcome was friendly enough (the rest were just weird, and that callebaut dude looked somewhat macabre). and that first chocolate offering was a not-rich shot of chocolate that tasted like some cocoa mix than real, proper, chocolate.
and then you enter a room full of chocolate sculptures: a feline (with that lovely peacock bit on its rump), an elephant, multiple monkeys and a giraffe – and you’re kept too far away from them to determine if it’s really chocolate (or its flamboyant counterpart, fondant) or clay.
but really – since I couldn’t eat it (which I thought should have been the point of the exhibition, to chip at them and eat) – it doesn’t matter if it was clay. the more irritating bit was that the lighting in the room was essentially too horrid to take decent photos (and that’s really salt to injury).
less irritating and more weird was the show of woman rubbing herself down with whipped cream, lasvicious co-actor looking on (while I looked around thinking of the poor to-be-traumatized children). the entire show, just plain awkward.
but on to the food. if you were like us, you probably entered strategising your 12 stamps worth of food – we imagined there would be so many options we would run out early.
but we weren’t so lucky, with options few and not even good.
I know it all looks pretty and delectable (kudos to the photographer, eh?) – but it certainly lacked any taste prowess. and it was just a strange mix of food – plain croissants stuffed with tuna or iberico like any catering do, inconsistent bruleed custard eggs (beautiful, but our second was gummy like fake custard), and cold-like-frozen potato tortillas.
but the worst thing had to be the hot dog – generic bun, filled with this chocolate hot dog that had all the processed, gumminess of a meat-glue sausage without any taste or flavor to go with – I couldn’t even swallow my first, small mouthful.
I’ve never said this of food, but this was pretty disgusting.
slightly less offensive was the table of decorate-your-own biscuits, where you had slightly dry, stale-ish, flavorless biscuits to decorate with tubes of fake chocolate/ raspberry sauce (it looked and felt like fabric paint, and maybe only tasted a little better).
in a last resort to spend all the stickers, we bought ten strawberries and five bottles of fiji water – knocking the sugar off like the quarter-centurions we were to eat the fresh strawberries within, and bringing the water back like the aunties we were always meant to be.
as a dessertian (first coined here, thanks), I would/ might have gone to the event regardless of reviews – but I spent the entire night thinking about what my hundred-and-thirty dollars would have bought me at cut.
so – a no go, unfortunately.
Fantasia by Escriba
22, 23 and 24 Aug 14
Marina Bay Sands Convention Centre
$$$$$$$$$: much-too-much at hundred-and-thirty per person (unless you got the early bird discount)